複雜人生 • 簡單心情

After the Coquitlam's new year celebration, it is more obivous to me that Harry thinks of me as one of his buddies, just like what Helen said. So sad. Why do I need other people to tell me the truth? Why I am so blind when it comes to the truth? Am i subconsciously avoiding the issue and pretending everything is like what I think it is--he likes me, i like him. NO. It's freakingly the oppopiste.

Last night, I kept thinking about him. I couldn't sleep. In the end, it costed me a good night sleep which I desperated needed after helping the celebration. Like right now, my head is killing me. I should stop thinking about him.(Why is this sound so familiar to me? Oh, becuse I said the same thing to me when I was dealing with Yanco)

I do have to mention one thing. When I was at the Terry Fox theater where the celebration was taking place watching the program, though Coquitlam's Tzu-chings said that they had reserved seats for us, in the end, there were too many visitors than they expected. We gave up our seats and stood behind the last roll. The head of Coquitlam Tzu-ching appologized to us.("Really, it's no big deal.") Then, it came the Harry. He put his arm on my shoulder. I looked at him (thinking "What the f are you doing"). He looked at me. We didn't talk, but our bodies were so closed to each other. Then he moved on to talk to other people and his hand accidentally touched my face. I think that is the closest intimacy I can ever get with him.

Nevertheless, he is truely a nice guy and I wish him and his girlfriend well.