複雜人生 • 簡單心情

最近發生了很多不愉快的事, 這些事讓我看清很多人. 人都是自私的, 不管你自稱是有多麼大愛, 有多麼資深. 人多麼的懦弱, 當你的錯誤背嫁禍在別人身上, 卻沒有勇氣站起來澄清. 人多麼的愚蠢, 當你錯聽別人的話, 錯怪別人, 事後知道實情卻不認錯. 人是無知的, 沒有能力去分辨是非. 人是偽善的.

很多事情發生後, 一是讓我很想現在往三個人的臉上一拳揍過去, 二是讓我開學前三天很不好受, 第一天是一想他們就整個人就會火起來, 會胃痛. 第二天就整個很失落, 怎麼我的朋友會這樣對我. 第三天就稍微振作起來一點, 但是還是很不好受.

我知道上人說生氣就是拿別人的過錯來逞罰自己, 但是我會這麼說善解不是讓人欺侮你的理由, 善解不是讓人知錯不改進的理由. 有些時候一些人的ideaology不會是用在有些人的身上.

心情不好, 就一直在聽英國歌手Wil Young的新歌"Changes". 這首歌的意境有像是在勉勵我現在的情形. 這學期開做我的coop, 今天是我工作的第一天. 弟弟平順的從台灣回來也很順利的上了大學. 認清了很多人, 失去了一些新朋友, 路程上遇到新知, 也發現在自己的老朋友依然可靠. 在這變動的時段, 有好有壞, 好的要永懷在心, 壞的也就隨風而去. 現在的我心情跟名譽已經跌到谷裡, 但也要咬緊牙根努力往上爬. 不管今天發生了甚麼事, 都要有勇氣面對明天. 從今天的錯誤學習, 成為明天成功的基石.

我依然相信人性本善.

「Changes」

Gotta shake myself
Up here
I should run away
Run away, run away
People say
Don't even go near
I can see the danger
I'm aware
I see the danger

If I go back once again
It's like
I learned nothing
Standing at the front
Of a queue
Heading for trouble

Hope it changes
Hope my life changes
Gets alright somehow
Oh
I'm waiting for tomorrow
I hope it changes
Can't you stay the same
Been out of luck
For so long
And I don't get much
So there's nothing
Much to lose

It's like a record
Going round
Yes, it's going round
Going round, going round
I know I should wanna
Take it off
But I find it hard
Why do I find it hard?

I used to have a vision
I was sitting
Somewhere up there
Looking down on myself
Doing right
For once in my life
It changes
Hope my life changes
Gets alright somehow
Oh
I'm waiting for tomorrow
I hope it changes
Can't you stay the same
Been out of luck
For so long
And I don't get much
So there's nothing
Much to lose

I just need a break
A little one
To get me up
To watch the sun
And hey
It's peaceful here

Hope it changes
Hope my life changes
Gets alright somehow
Oh
I'm waiting for tomorrow
Hope it changes
Can't you stay the same
(Can't you stay the same)
Been out of luck
For so long
(Can't you stay the same)
Don't get much
So there's nothing
Much to lose
Changes
Oh
I'm waiting for tomorrow
Hope it changes
Can't you stay the same
Been out of luck
For so long